Monday, May 10, 2010

EQ...not IQ

I remember it so clearly....I was presenting at the Behavioral Analysis Conference in Boston, Massachusetts during my first year as a doctoral student. My doctoral advisor at the time came and listened my presentation. We chatted after the presentation and he gave me some decent feedback. He then began to do his presentation and all I can remember about the presentation were the words that came out of my wife's mouth...."What the heck is your advisor talking about? Who talks like that?"

What my wife was referring to was how my former advisor used the biggest words possible to try to impress upon the audience the seriousness and intellectual superiority of his research. It swear like every sentence was a showcase for his vocabulary. He seemed to always try to do that and I never understood why. IQ is important, but I'm willing to put it all on the line for the argument that emotional intelligence is far more important in life. It is EQ....not IQ that creates a tidal wave of positive life changes.

Its funny ya my life people here and there make a big deal out of me having my doctorate. Now don't get me wrong. I worked hard for this degree. 10 and half years worth! However, it does not define me nor will it ever. Just because I have "Dr." in front of my name doesn't mean that I'm super smart or highly intelligent. My intelligence is not linked to how smart I am, but in how well I treat and care about others. And to be honest, I really just have very average intelligence. I never was in honor's classes or had the highest GPA. I didn't have a high SAT score and my GRE's were average at best. However, I have excelled in an area that is hard to measure. I have excelled in outworking the next person and in creating tremendous loyalty and care among those around me. That's power....that's emotional intelligence. While my Doctorate may in some instances opened doors for me initially, it is my actions as a human being that will keep those doors open or shut them.

See you have to ask yourself...what good is it to be highly intelligent if you are emotionally void? What good is it to have a Ph.D, M.D, Ed.D, JD or any other high ranking credential if you can't connect with people on an emotional level? That's why I love being a manager. At Club Ridges I have the greatest honor in helping to motivate and care for the people that work for me. My staff is unique, hard working and very kind. I have the pleasure in leading them and they teach me how to become a better boss. We care for each other, we laugh with each other and we are there for each other through good and bad times. We say things like "I care about you," I'm proud of you," and "you are worthy and you are good enough." I promise you...if you fill others with a sense of emotional stability and worth then they will work their guts out for you. They will lay it down for you because you reached a place inside them that no one else thought to explore.

While your mind is powerful and amazing and does much to advance you in the eyes of society, your heart and your soul does much to advance yours and other's personal well being.

Let Your Heart Wear the Crown, Not Your Head....

Until the next time.

Dr. D

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