Monday, January 20, 2014

The People We Become

I remember when my wife and I decided we were going to visit Iceland for a vacation last year. We knew that it was kind of strange to pick that destination, but we also knew that we wanted to have a different adventure than what most people do for vacation. I remember thinking....wouldn't it be great to visit a place where no one thinks of going on vacation? Wouldn't it be great to explore the isolation and mythology of a place and feel so alive when you are there yet so lonely? It was in that moment that I felt like I was beginning to understand the person that I had become. 

If you've lived long enough on the earth you hopefully begin to gain something that your parents have a lot of (hopefully)...wisdom. As you gain more and more experiences via every day living you begin to form the pieces of the person you will become. You begin to be able to articulate who you are as a person in all realms of being (physical, mental, spiritual, social, emotional, environmental and occupational). And once you have pinpointed the type of person you want to be it becomes very clear that you will do what needs to be done to protect that person. 

I've become keenly aware of of protecting the person I have become. I set much better boundaries with people and the experiences I have. A good example of protecting the person I have become is hiring people at my job. I make it very clear to new employees that if they cause any type of drama or disrupt the chemistry of me and my crew then I will let them go in a heartbeat. Keeping toxic people on your team delays goodness in your life and you can't have that when you have established your baseline for success as a person not only professionally, but personally as well.

On a similar note, I don't let work define me anymore as well. We live in such a work, work work society and I realized that I was becoming a workaholic and it was not good for my personal well being or my family's well being. I wanted to experience a fuller more well rounded life so I've cut back on being so work centered and now I focus on being more life centered. I've spent more quality time with my wife and daughter and visited back east more often with my parents, brother and in-laws. I've decided to shrink my inner circle of people with whom I hang out with and network with here in Vegas to make sure that I interact with those who truly want to spend and enjoy time with me. I travel to new places and create new memories that will be unique for me and my family. I've spent less time on the internet, but when I do go on I do things that serve a purpose towards the me I have become. 

In the end you have to think about the consequences of the person you are and how you act as you continue to live. Erickson's Stages of Development puts it best during the last stage of life...Integrity vs. Despair...will you regret the life you lived when you are near the end of it or will you feel good about it and be proud of it? Did you spend your life indulging negative experiences and people or did you create higher expectations for goodness in your life? Everyday you have a chance to become the person you want to be. Go out and grab the life that you are meant to live and the person you are meant to be. What are you waiting for? 

Until next time...

Dr. D

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